After all of this–the legs still haven’t given out yet. Many miles I run, which shortens after so many years. I remember somewhat clearing; about 20 years ago I ran a race in high school that I will never forget.
I gave up.
It was a quiet surrender. I was in the middle of the 3rd lap and I felt something slipping, nothing physical just a elapse in mental toughness. I just quit, flat-out fell to the ground like I was in pain. Holding my calf muscle; I can’t remember which one but the coaches were on their way to me and then I thought quickly–
“What the fuck am I doing?!”
I sprung up and ran back onto the track; running my hardest to the end of the race. I finish in dead last and walked off defeated.
Never again will I feel such a feeling was my quiet thoughts. I spoke softy in my mind in fear someone would had heard me. I was a coward at that time and again vowed, “Never again!”
That time I spoke that out loud in which my friend heard me. He didn’t say anything but knew what I meant and gave me a look. Nothing needed to be said; it was always spoken already.
That was my junior year in high school; a year after being all-state the previous year and I held on to my vowed. I made all state again that year and the year after. Finishing as the top 13th runner in the state of Missouri that year in the 1600 Meter run.
I can say one thing at least I didn’t quit.
I didn’t quit on myself.
It is a funny thing to remember such an event so long ago. 24 years to be exact; a moment in time that I would never forget–
Parkway North High School Invitational
St. Louis, MO
April of 1992
Every moment is defined by an action or non-action, the thin-line of a competitor or a chicken.
I was just a little of both..
2 thoughts on “Once a moment in time…”
I love reading your words, they always somehow seem to leave me on the edge of my seat waiting for more and more simplistic, complex thoughts to spill out of that masterful and talented brain of yours……if writers had groupies I would most assured be yours so for now Ill say Im an eternal fan.
Aww. That’s one of the most beautiful things anyone has ever said to me. Always great getting g honored by a sweet friend like you.
Oh? Everyone the beautiful one I’m responding to is Shea Brown in my About post. A great poet from the Midwest.